Cab Driver Nearly Passes Out After Hearing What Man Says

Have you spent a lot of time in taxis or Uber? We have, and sometimes we engage the drivers in conversation and sometimes we’re preoccupied with our own conversation. When I first rode in a cab for the first time as a teenager, it felt very novel to me, but like most people, after a while, you just start to see it as a service and assume that the driver is just interested in doing his job and not having to entertain the people in the car. Can you imagine what all these folks hear throughout the course of their careers? There’s probably not much they’ve not experienced, if you think about it. In the joke below, you’ll see just what I’m talking about. Enjoy!

Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn’t want to leave them un-chaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

Because I didn’t want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother. A few minutes later he got into the cab all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away.

“Sorry it took so long but the stupid b!tch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her a$$ with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn’t scratch me like she did last time. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her into the backyard… she had better not sh!t in the vegetable garden again.” The silence in the taxi was deafening…